Being Assertive

  "I am strong"... It is just Wednesday evening and I am feeling as if it is Friday night. I did not have any major projects at hand to submit nor was I running short of time at work or at home . Why then am I feeling drained ? I did a rewind of the last few days and a deep frown appeared between my brows. I was being an "extremly good person"!! This realization made me question and rethink of my own habits and behaviour. The answer I discovered was - I was not being assertive enough. I decided to bring myself back on track!!! It is extremely important to treat yourself a little "me time" and self reflect on whether you are assertive or not at all. Assertiveness / assertive behaviour is an individual's quality of being forthright about one's own needs and rights without coming foward as being very aggressive or passive. Tips on being Assertive :

1. Assess your communication skills : it is important how you voice your feelings or thoughts in words.They should not come out as neither being very aggressive nor passive . Instead of using phrases like"You always" or " You never" try using phrases like " i feel that.." or " it seems to me ....".

2. Maintain an eye to eye contact and keep your stance straight in front of the person you are talking to.This makes you come out as being confident.

3. If you are someone who easily says "yes" to people around you , then plan your response ahead in time . Practise using phrases like " Let me get back to you " or " i need some time to think about it ". Make sure you get back with your response to them .

4. Do not feel bad or embarassed about saying "No" to something or someone. You can use phrases like " I can't make it this time as i already have plans,will try to make it next time". Saying "No" does not make you a bad person .

5. You can practise being assertive with someone you are comfortable with or even in front of the mirror. Standing in front of the mirror you can keep a check on your body language and your eye contact.

6. There are times when you might feel overwhelmed before giving a speech or putting your thoughts in words in front of people : take deep breath,  focus on your breathing and try to relax . Try giving yourself postive motivation by saying :" i can do this "/ " i know my speech very well".
7. Being positive is very important and always belive in yourself .

Most important component in being Assertive is to treat yourself with respect and have confidence in yourself. I believe we sooner or later realise our drawbacks. However it is very important to spend more time and effort in practicing and overcoming them.